Transformers The (Live Action) Movie Trailer Thoughts

Prepare yourself for the psychotic views of Angry Geek.

For months I have watched and waited patiently in the darkness. I saw the production sketches, I saw the leaked photos, and reserved judgment until I could see the full length trailer which you can see here:

http://uk.promotions.yahoo.com/transformers/

I would like to take the opportunity to now say..

FUCK YOU MICHAEL BAY. And dare I say it, FUCK YOU SPEILBERG.

This is *not* a Transformers (capital "T" and trademarked) movie. This is a movie about giant transforming robots (note the lower case letters). Now, I understand that some minor changes would need to be made like car license issues and having to use new cars for a 21st century audience. I can live with some of the vehicle modifications. But their robot forms?! Transformers are not insectoids (well, the Insecticons are). Transfomers are not lanky. Tranformers do not look like T-800 endo-skeletons with a few car parts attached.

I would like to take this moment now to say that the trailer does look cool, even if it does feature classic Michael Bay style editing, where he can't hold on a shot for more than two seconds, and you can't tell what the fuck is going on. You can not get much better than giant transforming robots (again note the lower case letters) smashing their way across America. I freely admit this. But what they have done to Transfomers is a travesity. This dude does not abide. Hollywood had one chance to make a faithful, live-action "generation one" Transformers movie. And from the look of things, they completely fucked it all to Hell. Alpha Trion is *not* pleased.

There is only one TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE. It is animated, came out in 1986, and had the guts to murder an icon to children worldwide to make room for the next line of toys. I doubt that Bay and his cronies have the cajones to do that in what is probably being looked at as a franchise situation.

Will I see "Michael Bay's Transformers"? Yes. Does this make me a hypocrite? Probably. Will I pay to see it? They're getting no more than a rental fee out of me. Will I enjoy it for its brutal robot fighting action, mindless destruction, and what I pray is a high human death toll? Hell yes. Will I cringe each time they use the names Optimus Prime, Bumbleebee, Megatron, Starscream, etc? You better fucking believe I will.

This has been a message from your friendly neighborhood psychotic Angry Geek.